Late night musings
by blackm00n5
Summary: Sebastian lies awake at night, just looking at Jim, and thinking about how Jim will never love him as much as he loved the madman. First Sherlock fic. MORMOR!


**A/N OMG I know, I kind of died. And, well, it would take way too long to explain why so I won't do it here. But, my obsession with Supernatural has shifted to Sherlock. Of course, I'll still be writing Supernatural fics, because it will forever be my favorite show and I'm constantly getting little plot bunnies jumping up at me for it. But, I just need to get through my Sherlock shtick first. So, here's some Mormor. Oh God, I love it. So much. And technically, Seb doesn't even exist. Oh well. Please enjoy.**

**Disclaimer~ I, sadly, do not own Sherlock. BBC is lucky I haven't tried to steal it.**

Sebastian's eyes lingered on the pale body beside him, still covered in a thin sheen of sweat, the moonlight making the soft skin glow. He was mesmerized by the steady rise and fall of Jim's chest, and the calm, blank expression on his face. Seb's fingers twitched, yearned to reach out and touch, caress. Lovingly trace over the contours of his torso, press a kiss to the skin.

But he didn't. He didn't delude himself into believing Jim cared for him. Moriarty kept him because he was useful, and a good shag. He knew it. As much as he loved the, admittedly insane, man, he knew he'd only be hurt once he had lost his luster in Jim's eyes.

He bit his lip and sighed sadly, unable to tear his gaze from him. Jim's lashes fluttered in his sleep as a barely there smile flicked across his lips, and the muscles in his chest quivered. Seb clenched his fist, the one not holding his head up, that temptation to reach out and feel growing with each twitch of Jim's torso.

Sebastian was sick with hurt and self disgust. Why did he allow this to happen? Why did he come to Jim's bed at night only to have to bite his tongue every time he went to say he loved him? His ears rung with a chorus of those insincere pet names.

"Easy, darling."

"So eager, dear."

"I'm not made of glass, pet."

Pet. It was Jim's favorite term of endearment and it was the one that Sebastian hated the most. He hated it because it was so horribly true. He was Jim's pet, alwats had been and he always would be. He was there for the criminal mastermind's amusement and he just let it happen. Seb wanted to to mean something, he let himself pretend they were making love, not just having sex. He was breaking his own hear but he couldn't bring himself to stop.

Biting his lip, he lifted his hand from his hip. He was trembling, and it was humiliating despite no one but him seeing. Tentatively, he placed his hand just barely on Jim's stomach. He felt the muscles twitch beneath his finger tips and it gave him a sick, twisted sort of pride. He cautiously traced the dips and curves of that pale, porcelain skin, fingers just barely touching the sleeping man and desperately hoping he didn't wake.

"Stop thinking, pet." Jim's quiet, sleep heavy voice broke the silence and Sebastian's hand stalled. Humiliation and a small twinge of fear welled up in his throat and he moved to pull his hand away. Jim's own hand came up and gripped Sebastian's before he could. He pressed Seb's hand down, flat on his chest over his heart. Confusion worked it's way into Sebastian's gaze, even more so when Jim's hand stayed firmly on his. He tried to speak once, then twice before he could finally make his voice work.

"J-Jim?" his voice was hoarse and it sounded pathetic. Jim gave a sleepy half smirk, eyes never opening.

"What?" He replied, thumb lazily stroking over Seb's wrist.

The gunman wasn't sure what to ask. Somewhere int he back of his mind, he wondered if it was a dream. He didn't want to ask, at least a part of him didn't. He was scared to ruin it, ruin this little affectionate moment that he didn't quite believe was real.

"I thought I told you to stop thinking." Jim finally said after Sebastian refused to speak, his face furrowing in mild annoyance. "Or at least don't think so loudly." Seb vaguely noticed an increase in his heart rate. Was he...was he nervous?

"Jim, I love you." He blurted out before he could stop it.

His eyes widened in horror and Jim felt him tense. The sniper tried to pull his hand away, but Jim tightened his grip on Sebastian's hand, not allowing him. He led Seb's hand up to kiss the palm, surprisingly sweet and Sebastian swore his heart stopped.

"I know." Jim murmured against his skin before letting his eyes open to look at his sniper. "I suppose I'm rather fond of you as well." He smiled.

Sebastian leaned down to kiss him, desperate but still somehow soft. Jim sighed against his lips and kissed back, wrapping his arms around his neck. Seb let his hand cup Jim's face, hoping with ever fiber of his being that this wasn't one of Jim's games.

"Sebbie, darling, I'm tired. Let me sleep." Jim finally mumbled, a tad breathless and fondly amused.

Sebastian laid down reluctantly. When Jim curled up into his side, he gave a smile. Maybe, just maybe, he was a bit more than a pet after all.

**A/N So, there you have it. First Sherlock fic I ever wrote. Remember, never be afraid to give constructive criticism because I love it. And, hopefully, I kept Jim in character. Love to all.**


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